What is forgiveness?

“Forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge.  Forgiveness is the act of untying yourself from thoughts and feelings that bind you to the offense committed against you.  This can reduce the power these feelings otherwise have over you, so that you can live a freer and happier life in the present.  Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you.”  (Katherine M. Piderman, Ph.D.)

Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is an act of the will.  It may take time for your feelings to catch up with your will.

Forgiveness is:

  • being honest about your true feelings
  • acknowledging that nothing I do to hurt you will ever heal me
  • no longer being tormented and imprisoned by the pain
  • a process and not an event
Forgiveness does not:

  • minimize the loss
  • condone the behavior
  • restore immediate trust
  • follow an apology
  • mean God forgets
  • mean your forget
“Nothing worth doing is completed in our lifetime, therefore we are saved by hope.  Nothing true or beautiful or good makes complete sense in any immediate context of history; therefore we are saved by faith.  Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone; therefore we are saved by love.  No virtuous act is quite virtuous from the standpoint of our friend or for as from our own; therefore, we are saved by the final form of love which is forgiveness.”  Reinhold Niebhur

“Forgiveness is choosing to love. It is the first skill of self-giving love.”

Mohandas K. Gandhi

“Forsaking my right to hurt you for  hurting me.”

Dr. Aribald Hart

“We must develop and maintaining the capacity to forgive.  He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love.”

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

“Just as the winds whip up the sea, so does anger stir confusion in the mind.”  John Climacus

Are you angry?


Anger is a strong passion or emotion of displeasure or antagonism triggered by a justifiable or an imagined event.  It is a secondary feeling in response to hurt, frustration, irritation, resentment, suspicion, or guilt.  Its expression can be due to an immediate event or over something that has built up over time.  It’s a powerful feeling because it can overshadow the primary feelings.


Always stimulated by an event.  Pits you against the person, place, or thing that stimulated the emotion.  Affects your emotions, thoughts, and physical being.  Typically expressed in behavior, words, and/or actions.  It’s pan-human or found in all cultures in the world.  Demonstrates a concern for justice and righteousness in spite of world conditions.


Admit it.  Analyze it.  Act it out constructively.  Abandon it.


Physical exercise.  Weeping.  Talking it over.  Prayer.  Address the root problem.  Forgiveness

If you are having bouts of ANGER, not sure if what you are facing is ANGER, or have questions or concerns about ANGER please contact a Spiritual Life Coach NOW.  



    Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.


    January 2014